MOTHERHOOD

SURROGACY: BABY FACTORY OR BABY SOLUTION?

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It is quite funny how most Nigerians (especially the typical Nigerian man) react whenever they hear the word “Surrogacy”. You get reactions like “God forbid” or “abomination” or “how can someone else have my baby?” They say all this but all I hear are the cries of women in dying need of this solution but have no means.

So yes! In my opinion, Surrogacy is a BABY SOLUTION!


To be honest, the idea of it being a baby factory is not farfetched due to the fact that there are very few women willing to donate their womb as a home for the birth of another person’s baby. Due to the high rise in demand, it is expected that the price will also rise! This rise in price is the reason why some people take exception in the fact that Surrogacy is now more or less a steady source of income for those involved aka “Baby Factory”.

The question is “Is this an exploitative act? Or simply an appropriate business venture?”

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First of all, we must acknowledge the risks these women who choose to be surrogate mothers are faced with which is probably why it is mandatory that prior to being a surrogate mother, you must have bore at least two of your own children.

Secondly, the parents of the unborn child are usually so demanding from their surrogate mother that they expect her to leave her hometown and move in with them or move somewhere close to them so they could keep an eye on her and basically monitor her every move.

Then after 9 months of being a vessel and giving you the one thing you couldn’t give yourself, the thank you note is the notion that Surrogacy is now a “baby factory”? So what if the surrogate mothers are really deciding to make a steady income out of this? Isn’t she putting her entire life on hold for the parents of the child? Doesn’t she bend to their rules and literally become their puppet for the entire 9 months? Isn’t all of these sacrifice an entitlement to be well compensated?

Permit me to call those that support this recent tag – on Surrogacy being a baby factory SELFISH and UNGRATEFUL! It is always appalling how we humans want to eat our cake and have it.

Yes, surrogacy is the answer to the prayers of a lot of women and men who are striving to be parents with no success coming from the natural way but we have to admit that this same surrogacy is a luxury unfortunately not everyone can afford.

I think it would be somewhat unfair to ask so much of someone else all for a measly stipend.

I doubt I can be a surrogate mother but if I am ever to consider going through the excruciating pains of labor for someone I don’t even know then be rest assured that it will come at a horrendous charge. After all, I am putting my life on the line so you best have a big, fat incentive waiting around the corner.

OVER TO YOU:

What are your thoughts on Surrogacy? Do you agree with me? Or not?

Feel free to comment, ask questions, share your opinions and suggestions.

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PS: Words are an expression of opinion; WRITING is SPEAKING!
-OUR

Categories: MOTHERHOOD, POSTS

24 replies »

  1. I have been a surrogate…a GS. I have heard both positive and negative comments. I could not do this JUST for money, although money was a perk. It is too much sacrifice, too much work, to do only for money. I did it because I knew I wanted to be a mom from a very young age, and felt honored to help another who wanted that same thing but couldn’t physically carry her child.

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      • I had actually tried 3 mos after the birth to do it again for the same couple. I think it was too soon, and the IVF didn’t work. A few yrs later, they asked again. When we began talking about money, it got uncomfortable. I didn’t want to negotiate. We are friends, and the money topic felt hard to deal with. I decided I would rather just be friends than risk ruining the friendship over money. I said it just wasn’t a good time for me. We remain great friends now.

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  2. I would only ever be a surrogate if my siblings needed me to. Which I pray would never happen. I have often heard that a woman in labor is between life and death, so as selfish as it seems i am not putting myself through that for anyone besides, myself and/or my siblings. Would’t even be a surrogate for my cousins or any other family member that i am “close” to.

    Like

    • Hello Lydia,
      I get where you’re coming from because of the strong bond between you and your siblings. And you’re right. I most probably would only do it for my sibling as well. But as they Ibo saying goes, “O nwe oyi ka nwanne” meaning “There are friends who mean so much more than family”.
      Bottom line, I believe the question should be are they willing to do the same for you?

      Like

  3. Well I would imagine they are willing to do the same, but even if they aren’t, I would still do it if they needed me to. For anyone else, no matter how close, I still wouldn’t.

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  4. mom1978…. am guessing u love d year 1978… what’s with 1978, did u have your first child in 1978….. u don’t have to answer dat….I have added a year to my name too.. #winks…
    am quite fascinated by the comments
    @ A.L.V.V …. abbreviating your name.. my bad …
    I don’t mean to digress but my concerns are more of long termed with consideration of the child….. will the child grow thinking there’s a biological connection between itself and the parents? there still will be an unearthly bond between a child and its mother even beyond its adulthood … why deprive a child of such beauty… . I wonder, why a surrogate mother to get you a child (surrogate child) when there’s an adoption system …. there are kids out there up for adoption.
    perhaps, the end game of surrogacy is to show/deceive the world to thinking you bore the child

    In adoption, nature has already pleaded its course.. investing in adoption only makes you a sensible helper but for surrogacy, it is just not true at all, it is absolutely fake… surrogacy is saying a LIFE (child) is a property that can be acquired or given away…
    we have seen homosexuality, transsexuality and now surrogacy… This is just perfect … don’t you think?

    Like

  5. mom1978…. am guessing u love d year 1978… what’s with 1978, did u have your first child in 1978….. u don’t have to answer dat….I have added a year to my name too.. #winks…
    am quite fascinated by the comments
    @ A.L.V.V …. abbreviating your name.. my bad …
    I don’t mean to digress but my concerns are more of long termed with consideration of the child….. will the child grow thinking there’s a biological connection between itself and the parents? there still will be an unearthly bond between a child and its mother even beyond its adulthood … why deprive a child of such beauty… . I wonder, why a surrogate mother to get you a child (surrogate child) when there’s an adoption system …. there are kids out there up for adoption.
    perhaps, the end game of surrogacy is to show/deceive the world to thinking you bore the child

    In adoption, nature has already pleaded its course.. investing in adoption only makes you a sensible helper but for surrogacy, it is just not true at all, it is absolutely fake… surrogacy is saying a LIFE (child) is a property that can be acquired or given away…
    we have seen homosexuality, transsexuality and now surrogacy… This is just perfect … don’t you think?
    #MyHumbleThought

    Like

    • Hello Martins, Where do I start with responding to your comment?….

      First and foremost, you need to look into surrogacy proper. I really don’t think you understand what it is.

      Cos if you do then you will know that the surrogate mother is simply a vessel and has no biological connection with the child.

      She is more like a living incubator. As the sperm of the biological father and the egg of the biological mother is fused manually before being artificially insseminated into the womb of the surrogate mother.

      This means that the child carries the DNA of the biological mother and father and has no biological connection with the surrogate mother.

      Adoption on the other hand is a bigger step because the child wouldn’t be your biological child.

      I must correct you on the notion that the child is “taken away” from the surrogate mother. Why would she want to keep a child that isn’t biologically hers? If she does, then she would be more or less raising someone else’s child don’t you think?

      And of course when the child grows, he or she will be properly educated about Surrogacy and will be grateful to the surrogate mother for making such sacrifice.

      Like

  6. okay…. since the husband’s sperm is fertile and the wife’s womb is functional … why the need to employ the services of a surrogate mother??
    I will read more about it but somethings still do not add up here… it obvious a couple desperately need a child to have considered the option of surrogacy… which means, it is most likely either of the parent has a problem reptoductively… just thinking … a woman’s egg manually inserted into another’s womb and the child delivered will not have any connection whatsoever with the “incubator mother”????? ..
    seriously …. dats amazing

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    • Yes Martins. It’s all the wonder of Science. And of course most couples that choose this option are incapable of carrying a child by themselves. Like our very own Nike Oshinowo who has a condition that makes her unable to bear children.

      Instead of wallowing in pity for the rest of her life, science made it possible for her to use her eggs and a sperm and fuse it together before insemminating into the surrogate mother that she used.

      Now she has 2 beautiful babies – Twins!

      So it’s a solution to women out there who are childless because their womb cannot carry children or men out there who have low sperm count and cannot impregnate women the natural way.

      Surrogacy is a blessing to them.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. This is such a fantastic resource that you’re providing and you provide out free of charge.

    I appreciate seeing sites that gives an ideal useful resource totally free.
    I completely loved reading your content articles.

    Like

    • Thank you so much for your comment. The reason I started this blog was to inspire others so it’s better to impact knowledge to others than keep the knowledge all to yourself. Thanks for reading.

      Like

  8. I think it’s really upsetting that there isn’t enough knowledge and open-mindedness about the options available for having a child. I’m all for being a surrogate for a fee. I’d totally do it for friends or family dear to me, who I think deserve a child, but definitely for financial gains on my end. If they can’t afford it, then they probably shouldn’t be planning to have a kid in the first place. Those little people are expensive.

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    • Lol @ does really people are expensive. They sure are and I totally agree with you.

      Earlier someone commented being completely oblivious of Surrogacy in totality. That goes to show you how backward we are in terms with exposure and knowledge.

      I really hope we try and become more knowledgeable in matters that affect us and the society at large.

      Like

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