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THE LAW OF ATTRACTION – WITHIN OR OUT OF OUR CONTROL?

The_Law_of_Attraction_1Today’s post is more or less as a result of a conversation I had with a friend of mine. For as long as I’ve known her, she has never EVER dated an older guy. Ok not ever but it’s an 8 to 2 ratio. So I constantly tease her about her being cougar and liking younger guys.

During our conversation, she was of the opinion that she doesn’t necessarily like younger guys but because she is very accommodating, she is able to “blend in” with whichever comes her way. And that was the moment my theory was born – “your subconscious simply acts as a result of your personal preference”.

I responded to her saying “she subconsciously attracts younger guys because that is what she really likes deep down”

Like I said, this conversation prompted me to write a post but I would also love to hear what you think about the said topic. So read my thoughts and opinion after the cut and feel free to share yours afterwards.

While researching for this post, I came across the definition of “the law of attraction”. According to Wikipedia, it is the name given to the maxim “like attracts like” which in New Thought philosophy is used to sum up the idea that by focusing on positive or negative thoughts a person brings positive or negative experiences into their life.

Wait! Doesn’t this definition correspond with my theory?

I then showed it to my friend quoting “like attracts like” so if you prefer younger guys, you will naturally “attract” them and her response was “It is not my fault that I am young at heart and older guys cannot handle me or their idea of me”. She also went ahead to say the definition did not apply to her.

Now the question is do we really control whom we attract? Or is there a driving force that attracts and repels certain type of people to and from each other? And even if there is a force, how does it determine the type of individual that is suitable for each person?

law-of-attraction-what-youre-going-to-ATTACTGoing by my theory, my answer is YES we control whom we attract and YES there is a driving force that attracts and repels certain type of people BUT I firmly believe the so called “force” ONLY acts based on what we have already SUBCONSCIOUSLY laid out.

To elaborate further, I would give my real life example.

Growing up, right from secondary school, I had never been attracted to younger guys or guys my own age. When I say younger guys, I do not literally mean guys younger than me. Rather, I mean guys that are at most 5 years OLDER than me. In other words, you had to be at least 5 years OLDER than me to get my attention.

My very first boyfriend was my senior in Secondary School and I remember all his female classmates being jealous and beefing me because he chose to date a junior.

Even now that I am all grown up, I have still never dated or considered dating a young guy. Actually I tried it once and it was a DISASTER.

It was so bad that we literally had nothing in common or anything enlightening and informative to talk about. He was interested in things his own age while I was more interested in things WAY beyond his age. You know how they say “girls develop faster than boys”?

Anyway, after a total fail in my “younger guy” experiment, I feel like my subconscious completely ruled out guys a certain age and below. And yes, I had an age cutoff mark 😛

Subsequently, I realized that for some weird reason, all the guys I met and came in contact with were the type of guys I liked; older guys. As a matter of fact, I feel like a younger guy WOULD NOT have even bothered approaching me because my entire aura would have literally chased him away.

Basically, they chose not to approach me because as weird as it sounds, they could already see it was a NO GO area!

The older guys on the other hand saw the same aura but this time around, it was more WELCOMING.

4432443732_9a088cd882I honestly do not know what it was exactly that attracted older guys towards me. Maybe I glanced at them unknowingly or smiled at them unconsciously or maybe it’s something else. Whatever the case may be, I DID NOT do anything specifically or intentionally to “attract or repel” either of these guys. But for whatever reason, just like I wanted, the older ones kept coming around.

Relating this to my friend, I am of the opinion that just like I did not necessarily “do anything” to attract these older guys but because that was what I “really liked” deep down, she probably also “really likes” younger guys which is why she doesn’t necessarily “do anything” to attract them. But for some reason, they can’t stop coming!

In conclusion, I honestly do believe that when one is more receptive towards certain type of people, “the law of attraction” will definitely keep bringing those people towards them and just like my theory states, “your subconscious simply acts as a result of your personal preference”.

This is my TWO CENTS! What’s yours?

Feel free to comment and share your opinion and suggestions

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Categories: POSTS, SOCIETY

13 replies »

  1. Okay, I’ve heard (and read about) the Law of Attraction. I believe it for many reasons but it hasn’t exactly worked for me in terms of relationships. When I was younger, I really wanted to date a deep thinking, poetic, hip-hop loving girl. I had wished this for so long and not gotten my wish granted that when the chance finally came to date a girl like this, I didn’t even realise the opportunity was there! So, apart from that one time, it’s never happened again (I know, I know, it may have happened but I was blind to it again but, meehn, I kept my eyes wide open since then o, but nothing.
    I still believe it works though, because it’s happened in other areas of my life. The Funny thing is, I ended up meeting women who were far better than I had ‘wished’ for and guess what, I’m so OK with that. 🙂

    Like

    • Thank you for your comment Toni. Of course you would be ok with whatever is better than your actual wish. Who wouldn’t?

      But like you said, you probably weren’t paying attention then. And to tell you the truth, neither was I.

      Years passed before I sat and realized that I just happened to be getting exactly what I wanted. Some may call it luck but I’m really not that lucky!

      There has to be some other deeper lying mystery behind the entire thing.

      Like

  2. Great article. I have a question though. How do you manipulate the law? Like if you want to change the calibre of people who are attracted to you, how do you do that using your theory??

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for your comment Danimato. To answer your question, you cannot just “manipulate” the law or theory. Like the issue my friend is having which is that she is somewhat living in denial about what she truly likes which is younger guys. But you can’t cheat or deceive your subconscious. It knows the truth which is why it will keep on bringing EXACTLY what she likes.

      In the case of changing the calibre of people attracted to you, I would say you reconcile with yourself deep down by completely forgoing and dismissing (in your mind) the calibre of people you want to get rid of. Eventually, if the feeling is genuine and there isn’t some teeny tiny part of you that still craves the supposed rejected calibre, I’m pretty sure your subconscious would join the train and you’ll end up finding yourself mostly in the company of your preferred calibre.

      It’s not magic btw. It takes a bit of time to convince your subconscious. So be patient and true to yourself and you’ll definitely see results in the long run.

      Like

  3. Quite an interesting post I must say and it applies to everyone around me, like I have this friend that won’t date a guy less than 35Years. That the first question she throws at you at the instance of meeting her is your age! Funny yeah!!

    Like

    • Very funny indeed Vivien. Your friend must be really turned off by what she would also refer to as “younger guys”. It is her personal preference and for sure she would be more comfortable in the midst of her preference.

      Like

  4. Excellent site you have got here.. It’s hard to find high quality writing like yours nowadays. I really appreciate individuals like you! Take care!!|

    Like

  5. I’m only attracted to younger men, I’m 25 and am only attracted to men who are close to my age like 30 for the most but men in my age group hardly approach me.I am mostly approached by guys that are old enough to be my dad and being with a man that old completely turns me off, not to sound mean but the thought actually makes me think “eww”. So why do you think older men are so attracted to me if I am completely turned off by being in a relationship with an older man?

    Like

    • Hi Faith, thank you for reading.
      The truth is that in this day and age of “aristo and sugar babes”, it is almost impossible for a young lady NOT to get approached by older guys.

      That being said, if indeed you prefer younger guys deep down yet older guys keep coming your way then maybe you are the “exception” to the law and in that case, you should probably consider deliberately surrounding yourself or hanging around areas where younger guys are in concentration.

      I don’t know what part of the world you live in but over here in Abuja, there are certain pubs and restaurants that the older generation would probably feel uncomfortable in due to the overpopulation of the younger generation and vice versa.

      So make a move and change your approach to the entire thing and something good might just come out of it.

      Like

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