Hello guys, it’s Feature Friday! Every Friday I would be sharing a real life experience and situation of a reader who needs my opinion. If you have a situation that you need my opinion on, email me on firstname.lastname@example.org.
Read the situation and my opinion after the cut. The names have been changed to protect the identity of the person being featured. Enjoy!
I am a married woman and I live with my husband in a two bedroom apartment. I have been married for three years but do not have any kids yet as my husband and I are still waiting for God to bless us with children.
You would think this is the problem I have with my mother-in-law right? The fact that i don’t have kids? Actually, the reason i am writing to you is far from that.
My mother-in-law lives in the village and we live in the city. She comes to visit us quite often which i definitely do not have a problem with as she is welcome to our home anytime.
The only issue i have with her regular visits is the fact that whenever she comes, for whatever reason, my husband always asks me to evacuate our matrimonial bedroom for her. He makes me leave our room to sleep in the guestroom while him and his mother sleep in our bedroom.
I have wondered and thought to myself if it is normal to have a full grown man sleep with his mother in the same room especially when there is another room available but i am unable to reconcile it in my head.
I asked him why he does it and his response to me was “my mother and I are very close and she suffered so much for me growing up so the least I feel I owe her is to make her very comfortable. And if she feels more comfortable in our matrimonial bed? Then so be it”.
I was appalled after i got his response. So appalled that i decided enough is enough!
The next time she visited, i deliberately went to bed earlier than usual and tucked myself under the covers pretending to be asleep.
When it was time for her to go to bed, could you believe my husband came to wake me up from my pretend sleep telling me that i should go to the other room so “mama” can come to bed?
I couldn’t believe my ears. I literally thought i was dreaming.
Anyway, just for peace to reign, i did as i was told and mama actually came to bed while i slept in the guest room as usual.
Please OUR, tell me what i can do. I have endured this for three years but it is becoming ridiculous. What will happen when we have kids? How will I explain to them that daddy sleeps in the same room with grandma whenever she’s around and not mummy? Does that even sound like something anyone should say out loud?
Kindly advise on what i should do to save the situation because i am really getting tired of the entire thing.
Oh my! This is a really weird situation. Allow me to actually blame you for this mess you have found yourself in.
Are you really saying you have dealt with this for THREE WHOLE YEARS? Let’s be honest, if you could really deal with it for three years, how come you have a problem with it all of a sudden?
If me as a random person can have this thought, now imagine your husband and his mother who are already comfortable and have been getting away with it for the past three years.
Let me just emphasize my point for readers out there. However you want your relationship/marriage to be in the long run is the same way you have to start it. You cannot permit a particular behavior from the beginning and then few years later decide you have had enough and really expect the person to act like a robot and do as you have said. It really doesn’t work that way.
The damage has been done now let’s proffer a solution.
You just have to put your foot down on this matter. DO NOT concede to them. Tell your husband that you will no longer tolerate such behavior. Talk to him politely but yet sternly. Insist your mother-in-law should sleep in the guest room and refuse to leave your room for her.
If your insistence still doesn’t work then you should threaten to report the matter to your people. I am pretty sure that would be the end line because i doubt they would be comfortable with such ridiculous story getting into the ears of others.
Let me just say that you have absolutely no business talking to his mother about this matter. You know how men are with their mothers so make sure you relate only to him on this so you don’t end up being accused of disrespecting her.
I really hope this helps you sort out your situation. Thank you for sharing.
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Categories: FEATURE FRIDAY