FEATURE FRIDAY

HE SAYS HE WANTS ME BUT HE NEVER KEEPS IN TOUCH. HELP!

Hello guys, it’s Feature Friday! Every Friday I would be sharing a real life experience and situation of a reader who needs my opinion. If you have a situation that you need my opinion on, email me on featurefriday@alocovivavoce.com.

Read the situation and my opinion after the cut. The names have been changed to protect the identity of the person being featured. Enjoy!

Hello OUR,

My name is Ola and I was in a relationship with a guy for six years before I broke up with him. Over the years, so many issues came up between us and by January of this year, I realized that we just couldn’t be together anymore so I called it off.

Fast forward to September of this same year (few months ago), I met a guy who literally swept me off my feet and I to him too, he said! 😀

The following day after meeting each other, we went out on our first date which was amazing as we got talking and got to know each other better.

Few days later, we had our second date but rather than go out, I went to his house instead and as you would imagine, we got a little bit intimate but nothing really happened.

We got talking some more after the second date and from what I know about him thus far, I definitely like him and he is exactly the type of man I have always hoped on marrying. The only problem is that HE NEVER REALLY CALLS.

After that first week when we had our first and second date, he barely called or text me afterwards and even though we’re still very much in touch and still see each other, he is never usually the one to initiate a conversation either via phone call, text, chat etc. I do most of the calling and text of which he actually responds non-hesitantly.

The tricky part of my story which is why I am writing to you is that the last time we went out on a date, he specifically told me how much he wanted to be with me and notwithstanding, I think of him almost EVERYDAY and I REALLY wish something good comes out of our relationship BUT unfortunately, even after his speech about wanting me, he still hardly keeps in touch without waiting for me to reach out first.

What do I do about this situation OUR? Do I go with the flow and accept that maybe he isn’t really big on keeping in touch (I actually know some people that are that way). It’s not like they don’t care, it’s just how they are.

Or do I just let him be? Tell me OUR, am I being desperate?

REPLY:

Hello Ola,

Let me ask you this question. If you go to a supermarket to buy milk and its Best Before Date is on that same day, would you still buy the milk? What if the attendant tries to convince you that “Best Before” doesn’t mean expired and that the milk is still consumable a month after the supposed expiry date. Would you go ahead and buy the milk then?

If your answer to my question above is no then why on Earth are you willing to settle for someone you clearly have issues with?

Even the supermarket attendant tried to make you see reasons why you should purchase the milk yet you refused because you believe you deserve and can get better yet you are willing to condescend for someone who isn’t even making an effort to convince you as to why he should be in your life?

It isn’t rocket science Ola. If he is not calling you then he is definitely calling someone else. Women really need to stop making excuses for men. Moreover, it is way too early for you guys to be having communication issues.

The beginning is usually the best part of relationships for females because it is when he woos and calls and showers you with gifts and “love” just to get your attention. So if you are the one calling and keeping in touch now, it kind of translates to YOU WANT HIM and not the other way around.

And please forget about his “I want you speech”. He clearly wants something else probably something you have (if you know what I mean) ;). Basically, if he wants you, he needs to show it and act like it.

And until he makes an effort to at least meet you half way or three-quarter way, forget about him. You will definitely meet someone else in due time.

I hope I have been of help. Thanks for sharing!

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PS: Words are an expression of opinion; WRITING is SPEAKING!

-OUR

7 replies »

  1. Hmmmmm,am really in love with alocovivavoce reply ,first and Formost I think you are desperate,since you left a relationship for six years😳,but please don’t settle for less,guys can be funny,since your the one making the calls biko relax,the holy book says “he that findth a wife”he shld be the one after you,even if you go further and push,if you guys eventually be together he will sure use it against you,so please be careful,and lastly try to go into anything you feel peace with,likewise in a relationship,Can be God’s way of speaking to you.

    Like

    • Thank you for your comments The Naija Teacher. Joking is an understatement to his behaviour and it’s a wonder someone really cannot see through him. This case is crystal clear!

      Like

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