Hello guys, it’s Feature Friday! Every Friday I would be sharing a real life experience and situation of a reader who needs my opinion. If you have a situation that you need my opinion on, email me on firstname.lastname@example.org.
Read the situation and my opinion after the cut. The names have been changed to protect the identity of the person being featured. Enjoy!
My name is Atinuke and I need your advice. Early last year, I dated a guy for about a year. When I met him, he was very sweet and exactly the kind of guy I needed. But as time went by, he completely changed and became the total opposite of the person I fell in love with.
Early this year (a year into our relationship), I realized that things were not the way they should be, so I gradually pulled away from him. I stopped calling, stopped going to see him, stopped sleeping with him and basically just started acting as though I was not in a relationship with him anymore.
After I pulled away, we went incommunicado for a while. I guess he got used to me constantly calling that it took him TWO WEEKS to finally get in touch with me and all he could say was he was calling to say “hi”.
Fast forward six months after what I would assume was our “breakup”, he only called sparingly and as always was simply calling to check on me and say “hi”.
Although he had tried to see me a few times during these six months, I never gave him the chance until few weeks ago when he finally came to see me and things kind of got confusing.
For some strange reason, he acted completely different when we saw. He acted like the same guy I fell in love with a year ago. He was very loving and caring now and showed interest in matters that concerned me – the total opposite of the guy I broke up with.
Not only was he sweet and caring, he also invited me on a trip to a resort where him, his cousins and friends were going for the weekend.
As silly as this might sound, I am actually torn between going on the trip and not going.
The thing is that when the going was good for us, it was REALLY good and I must admit that I miss those times. And since it seems like he has changed for the better, do I accept his invitation and maybe use this as an opportunity to start the relationship afresh?
I perceive from your story that you really want to go on this trip. And to be honest, even if I tell you not to, you most likely would.
All I am going to do in reply to you is to lay out the pros and cons of going on that trip and as an adult, I expect you pick whichever works best for you.
Not only would you enjoy yourself on the trip, you would probably have the best time of your life. He would see to that!
You most likely would rekindle your romance and end up kicking off where you both left off in the relationship.
After the trip, he goes back to his old ways and still expects you to do the calling and keeping in touch.
Down the road, you realize that the entire trip was all just a show to get in bed with you and you regret that decision for the rest of your life.
You also discover that he only pretended to have changed just to trick you as payback for absconding from the relationship.
You completely make a fool of yourself in front of his cousins and friends when you get all cozy and intimate with him yet they are probably all in on it and are also probably aware that he wants absolutely nothing to do with you afterwards.
These are the pros and cons I foresee if you go on that trip.
Like I said, as an adult, I expect you to make a rational decision by picking whichever works best for you bearing in mind that you would have to live with the consequences (good or bad).
I wish you all the best. Thanks for sharing!
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Categories: FEATURE FRIDAY