POLLS

POLL: HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP?

Opinion-Poll-graphic1Hello readers, welcome to another Poll Tuesday on A Loco Viva Voce.

Last week, I asked you what age you were when you lost your virginity and surprisingly, majority of the votes were tied between 16-20 years and 21 years and above.

I honestly don’t know why I expected worse.

However,  26% are still virgins and 3% lost their virginity between 10 and 15 years old. For those in the last category, I really hope you were not forced to commit the act at such young age. If you were then I’m really sorry.

Today’s poll is also a very personal question that asks “HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP?”

Remember that he does not have to hit you or beat you to a pulp before you know that you are in an abusive relationship. I discussed the various types of abuse in last week’s post tilted 2 OUT OF 3 WOMEN HAVE BEEN ABUSED. ARE YOU ONE OF THEM? Click the link to read the post and familiarise yourself with the various types of abuse before you vote.

Happy voting!

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PS: Words are an expression of opinion; WRITING is SPEAKING!

-OUR

Categories: POLLS

4 replies »

  1. I initially didn’t want to vote but wanted to see the winning results, which was as I guess.
    Most people haven’t been in an abusive relationship, didn’t know why I felt that was going to be most people answer.
    But turned out true.

    Read my lastest blog post wunderkidblog.com/how-big-are-you-willing-to-spend-on-your-wedding/

    Like

    • I suspect most people have interacted/ dated an abusers but left before it escalated. A lot of their initial behaviour are seen as cute and thoughtful until you realise they use them as weapons.

      Like

  2. I dated a guy who was very full on when we started dating. He wanted to call and talk to me every single minute of every single day. At first, it was very cute. It was a LDR. I told him I wont be committing to much until I saw him when I came to Naija for a wedding. He would insist on picking me up and dropping me off everywhere in Lagos which again I thought was cute but now I think he needed control.

    Within two weeks of deciding to give him a shot. He started asking for details about my personal finances, commenting on my supporting my family, sending cryptic messages about “the virtuous woman- guys need to expand on their Bible studies”, told me of a women who was working in a good job and hubby wasn’t working and will give her salary to her husband etc. Can I be that woman? If I loved him, I should share those details with him. I told him I wasn’t married to him and I am not that comfortable with him. Then he randomly asked about whether or not I had a British Passport etc. Then he got upset with me for not calling his mum on her bday. I met his mum once at a party and never spoke to her since or took her number. The last straw was when he went really crazy because I went to visit an old married colleague because I didn’t ask for his permission. I was like, you don’t even live in the same country as me. He begged me afterwards. I have never seen go from controlling to beg to nice in a second. He uses acts of niceness as a mean of control. It didn’t sit well in my heart esp given my sister experience with abuse so I broke up with him after a month.

    First he begged me. Then all hell broke loose. He cursed me on blackberry, called my friend that introduced us. Apparently, he cursed the day he met me and met the guy that introduced us. He said so much vile things, asked me to send him all the stuff he got me ASAP (he gave me a chain he was wearing when I first saw him). He threatened hell and back the next time he comes to England. He told me I ruined his life. After, one month of phone (and email) harassment, he finally gave up.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh my! That guy had trouble written all over him. I am so glad you got out while you still could before he got overbearing.

      This is exactly what I’ve been singing all this time. There are other types of abuse. It really doesn’t have to be physical. But sometimes these other types are the beginning stages and then graduates to physical abuse.

      For example, if you had caved into that guy’s demands, God bless you the day you do not give him your salary or the day you visit someone without telling him. He most likely would batter you due to his extreme possession and his constant need to be in control.

      I’m just really glad you saw right through him. Like I said in the post, some of these behaviour are considered sweet at first but gradually turn into a nightmare. Imagine him cursing you out for wanting nothing with him.

      I really thank God for you. Trust me, you dodged a bullet!

      Like

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