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RAPIST OR MINI SKIRT – WHO IS TO BLAME?

Hello people,

This is my ONE HUNDRED AND FIRST (101st) blog post 😀 😀 😀

Yesterday, for my 100TH blog post, I conducted a survey via Poll Tuesday in order to find out what you all think about the blog thus far and where you think it needs improvement.

If you haven’t voted on the poll, kindly take a moment to click the link to the poll and pick as many options as applies 100TH BLOG POST: WHAT ARE YOUR + and -‘s?

Now, for today’s topic.

While addressing thousands of Zanu PF supporters at a rally in Mberengwa last week, the First lady of Zimbabwe Grace Mugagbe said women who wear mini skirts have no one but themselves to blame if they are raped by sexual perverts.

“If you walk around wearing mini skirts displaying your thighs and inviting men to drool over you, then you want to complain when you have been raped? It’s unfortunate because it will be your fault.”

The First Lady then called on women to wear long dresses or trousers and said that the type of dressing, which left women’s legs exposed, was a result of moral decadence.

A lot of people described her comments as shocking and went on to dish a backlash at her for uttering what is now known as a “daft” statement.

My question is, if this statement was made by anyone other than “Mugagbe’s wife”, would it have been received differently?

Firstly, let me just say that there is no criteria for rape whatsoever. For one to graduate to the point of forcing someone else to have non-consenting sexual relations goes to show how much of an animal that person is and there can never be a justification for such brutality.

BUT

In as much as there is no justification for rape, don’t we feel like our young ladies sometimes take it too far?

Right now, I am speaking from a third world perspective.

In first world countries like the UK and USA, it is perfectly normal to have people walking around with short shorts and miniskirts during the day especially during the summer when it’s really hot.

It is also perfectly ABNORMAL to find everyone wearing a black overall with long sleeves and a veil aka ABAYA during the summer season as well.

But guess what, there are parts of the world (Middle East) where Abayas are a necessity. Come rain, come shine, women and even men wear their abayas and kaftans all day long!

These people in these other parts of the world are dressing according to their religion, morals, cultures and what have you; regardless of the weather. As a matter of fact, women in those parts of the world who get raped for wearing “mini skirts” are actually held responsible for their unfortunate predicament.

I am not saying that blaming the rape victim is the right thing to do. All I am saying is that people would fall into less trouble IF and ONLY IF they adhere to the principles, moral ethics and culture of wherever they find themselves.

There is a very famous saying that “if you are in Rome, behave like  Roman”.

Let me give you a very practical example.

One time while I was in Benin, a friend of mine asked me to accompany her to the tailor’s to pick up an outfit she was making. Before then, we were at home relaxing so I had on shorts with a t-shirt.

For some reason, I chose not to change into something else because I felt we were just going to the tailor’s shop and back so I didn’t really feel it was an issue since we wouldn’t be walking the streets.

Unbeknownst to me, my evil friend’s tailor was in the market; New Benin Market. For Lagosians, that is the Benin equivalent to Oshodi market.

Unfortunately for me, I was typing a text on my phone through out the journey up until when we arrived and as soon as the driver said we had arrived, without looking up, I came down from the car and he drove off.

That was literally when reality hit.

All of a sudden from no where, a mob gathered and they were staring, pointing fingers, making comments about my dressing and one of them actually grazed my thigh.

Anyway, thankfully I got out of the situation unharmed but my point is that if I were in a different country and wore my “not so short shorts” to the marketplace, it absolutely wouldn’t make a difference but because of the kind of country we live in, it matters a lot.

Watch this video below of a woman (not me) being harassed for wearing a short dress in a market.

Some might say they reacted that way because it was a market and I tell them to try walking the streets of Lagos or even Abuja during the day in a mini skirt or short shorts and if you don’t get stared down or whistled at or blatantly humiliated then call me crazy.

As much as this type of reaction to women in revealing clothing especially like the one in the video above is totally wrong and borderline abusive, this is sadly the country we live in.

I was in a bank a few days ago and a lady walked in with a high slit on her skirt that was showing her thigh. It was like the entire bank paused for a second with the way everyone (including me) simultaneously turned to stare at her and her thigh.

So if “Nigerians” are not civil enough to withhold their reaction when they see a woman in a mini skirt, why are the women willing to put themselves through the humiliation?

In parts of Europe, there are nude beaches where everyone is stack naked whilst tanning under the sun. No one gets stared at in these nude beaches, no one gets mocked or raped.

But try taking off your top in Eleko beach and see what happens.

My point is that our “African men” are not yet ready for that much Westernization where the women dress carefree and get away with it. Our culture doesn’t and will probably never permit it.

So if you choose to wear a mini skirt in this part of the world, kindly ensure not to wear it to a public place with an uncontrollable crowd or to a quiet place with fewer crowd because even the law in this part of the world CANNOT protect you if anything bad happens with you dressed like that.

Do you agree or disagree with me?

Feel free to share your comments, suggestions and opinion.

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PS: Words are an expression of opinion; WRITING is SPEAKING!

-OUR

Categories: POSTS, SOCIETY

13 replies »

  1. I don’t particularly support what I see some women wearing these days! It does not help matters, however that is not a reason for rape. Rape is a premeditated decision to have forceful sexual intercourse with someone.

    Like

    • Like you said Jacqueline, it does not help matters. But what I don’t understand is why people support those that wear it knowing fully well that it doesn’t help matters.

      If you sometimes get really sick from drinking soda – you don’t get sick all the time but you can’t predict when you do. Would you go around drinking soda or would you completely stay away from the drink and probably stay away from any carbonated drink for that matter?

      If the latter is the case then why don’t women desist from that one clothing since it turns out to do more harm than good. That’s my point!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Are you trying to say ladies in long skirts or trousers don’t get raped? There just isn’t any justification period.

    As for ladies being humiliated for what they choose to wear, that should be a whole different blog.

    Like

    • Ladies in long skirts and trousers get raped, yes. But God forbid if I were a victim of rape, I would hate to think that if I had done something differently, it might have completely prevented the situation.

      It could be maybe if I hadn’t stayed out too late or if I hadn’t walked alone down an alley or if I hadn’t worn that skirt. My point is that if there is anything we could do to control and prevent rape even if it involves a particular clothing, why wouldn’t we be willing to try?

      Stopping mini skirts may not necessarily put an end to rape but if there is the tiniest chance that it might control it, we shouldn’t defend the clothing but rather do whatever we can to help the situation.

      Like

      • I think we should quit making excuses for bad behaviour. Be it a hijab or a mini skirt, anyone with bad intentions will carry on with their evil actions.

        Emphasis should be on educating the male child to respect women. That will go a long way in curbing so many issues. As far as I remember, rape, child molestation even incest remains a big problem in Northern Nigeria. Let’s not shift blame to the victim.

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      • And we shouldn’t educate the women on indecent dressing? That’s a bit one-sided don’t you think? Anyway, it’s your opinion and I respect that but I doubt I’d be teaching my daughter that it’s ok to wear mini skirts in places that don’t condone them because the men are supposedly educated on how to respect women.

        Even the Holy Book says something about not putting people to test.

        In the Western world, it would be okay but in Northern Nigeria for example, whether or not the men “respect women”, it is an insult to their culture and religion to wear mini skirts in public and probably a crime too to say the least. And I believe the law says ignorance is not an excuse.

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        • I haven’t said the girl child doesn’t need education but in regards to the to the topic of your blog ‘rapist or mini skirt – who is to blame?’, you definitely can’t blame the victim regardless of what she wears.

          Going back to northern Nigeria, point is, even though people in some parts wear hijabs do they not get raped? My point exactly why mini skirt has nothing to do with it as is usually the excuse the average rapist will come up with. What’s the excuse for a child being raped then?

          There are still communities in the world were people don’t wear any form of clothing. I doubt rape is an issue there as they have respect for themselves.

          Like

      • I understand you Aii and in response to the blog’s topic, yes the victim cannot be entirely blamed.

        Child rape is a totally different case as I am referring to fully grown women choosing to wear a particular clothing with questionable outcome.

        I guess we’re just going to have to agree to disagree.

        But just like the communities you speak of that dress naked, if they visit a neighbouring town that doesn’t condone their nakedness and still choose not to cover up because that’s what they’re used to then as much as it wouldn’t be fair to say it would be their fault if anything bad happened, you can’t give a monkey banana and expect it not to eat.

        Another example is Second hand smoking which also causes cancer and as much as there are adverts everywhere preaching the negative effects of first hand smoking, in order to protect ourselves, lots of places have banned indoor smoking.

        Banning indoor smoking didn’t stop first hand smoking entirely but it has probably reduced it by even as little as 1% which is a huge deal.

        That’s my point with mini skirts. If it might reduce rape by even 0.5%, we should be willing to try.

        Like

  3. @ A Loco Viva Voice. I don’t think I appreciate your point “I understand you Aii and in response to the blog’s topic, yes the victim cannot be entirely blamed”. when you say cant be entirely blamed? Are you saying they can be blamed a little? I disagree. There are two points to be addressed here and they are mutually exclusive.
    Rapists are sad sick people are are to be blamed entirely for raping people!
    People need dress decently.

    When you see a stupid man killed on the road. You say stuff like poor stupid man, lets convict him. You don’t say his stupidity was a contributing factor Or that his murder wasn’t ENTIRELY the perpetrator’s fault.

    Like

    • I am going to respond to your comments Laydeelarz by quoting someone else’s comment concerning this same topic.

      “I blame the rapist for not being able to control himself, that he was tempted is no excuse. Nevertheless, while it is true that putting on a long skirt cannot guarantee safety from sexual assault in this perverted world, wearing a mini skirt is only asking for trouble. No one walks around deliberately with money dangling from their pockets. We like to put them somewhere safe, like in a wallet or a purse. Although that doesn’t mean you may never be mugged, it’s safer still. I’m not imposing a dress code on the ladies or suggesting you cover yourself head to toe in all black, you’re free to dress in whichever way you want to. But if you know you’re more likely to attract and AROUSE men without self control by the way you dress, why not avoid the likely chances of that happening.”
      -Sir Lewis

      The comment above pretty much summarises my point in this topic.

      Like

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