Hello guys, it’s Feature Friday! Every Friday I would be sharing a real life experience and situation of a reader who needs my opinion. If you have a situation that you need my opinion on, email me on firstname.lastname@example.org.
Read the situation and my opinion after the cut. The names have been changed to protect the identity of the person being featured. Enjoy!
I am twenty seven years old and I recently got married (few months ago). Before I got married, my sole priority was to remain a virgin. Not because I wanted to per se but you know how parents pride themselves with the whole virginity thing.
Back then, I was so scared of losing my virginity that I didn’t even use tampons for fear that my hymen would break. Ignorant me right?
In my second year in University, according to my dad, I started dressing like a “University babe”, so he went as far as taking me to a hospital for a virginity test.
Fast forward years later, I got married as a virgin BUT now that I am willing to let go, I am pretty much paying for all the time wasted to get it done which has resulted to me being extremely scared to have sex.
Whenever my husband makes an attempt, my body becomes rigid instantly and I end up running out of the bedroom.
It is so bad that I cannot even get naked in front of him or see him naked.
Whenever he is in the bathroom, I would go to the living room and wait for him to dress up. I also undress and dress up in the bathroom with the bolts locked just to ensure there is no room for nudity.
Please help me OUR. Google literally knows my fingerprints because I have googled everything I can just to get answers but all to no avail.
My husband has been wonderful and patient with me but given the circumstances, I really do pity him for all I am putting him through.
Please help me by telling me how virgin wives can enjoy sex without so much drama.
Oh my! First of all, let me just disagree with you when you say you are paying the price for waiting this long to have sex. That is entirely false.
As a matter of fact, it is perfectly normal that you are scared to have sex. After all, you went twenty seven years without it so it is expected that you wouldn’t just jump at the offer as some might think.
Now that you’re having this difficulty, I am very glad you said your husband is understanding about it because he is the only one that can help you get through this phase.
Having said that, you must try and overcome the rigidity your body encounters whenever things are about to happen. It is a gradual process but you have to be willing to try.
I would suggest you start from the nudity part. I will tell you a trick I used back then whenever I got serious with a guy.
As much as I didn’t get married a virgin, all ladies in general can testify to how difficult it is at the initial stage to become comfortable in the nudes with your boyfriend.
So in order to overcome that shyness, what I did was to walk around in my underwear whenever he was around. Basically, I remain in panties and a bra all the while we’re together. It wasn’t easy at first but after doing it consistently, the whole nudity thing stopped to bother me.
You could also start with getting dressed with the lights off so that way you’re not too shy and also, stay in the room when he’s getting dressed. You don’t have to look at him but stay in the room. As time goes on, you could sneak peaks at him and before you know it, it won’t bother you anymore either.
As for sex, your husband just has to take it really slow with you.
I suggest pornography. Not kamasutra or anything like that but you both should watch regular porn together. It might help you open up and become less rigid.
And please try your best not to be shy or cover your eyes when watching. This is what marriage is for – an institution where it is completely okay to be vulnerable with one another. So you really don’t need to hold back.
Let me just say that this is really not a very serious issue. A lot of people experience it. All it takes is patience from your husband and in no time, he would be the one begging you to give him a break when you finally have a taste of what you’ve been missing 😉
I hope I’ve been of help. Thanks for sharing!
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Categories: FEATURE FRIDAY