FEATURE FRIDAY

WE’RE MARRIED BUT SHE’S NOT RIGHT FOR ME. HELP!

FeatureFridayHello guys, it’s Feature Friday! Every Friday I would be sharing a real life experience and situation of a reader who needs my opinion. If you have a situation that you need my opinion on, email me on featurefriday@alocovivavoce.com.

Read the situation and my opinion below. The names have been changed to protect the identity of the person being featured. Enjoy!

Hello OUR,

My name is Stanley and I have been married for two years to a girl that I know is not right for me.

Earlier on before we got married, we were living together and that was actually when i realized we weren’t compatible. Then I decided we shouldn’t live together anymore so I rented a place for her to move into.

As much as I hoped that would gradually help us drift apart, I guess she wouldn’t have any of that because she kept on coming over and spending the night in my place until she dropped me with the bomb that she was pregnant.

After she broke the news to me, she cried, wailed and begged me to marry her so she doesn’t bring disgrace to her family and eventually, she guilt-tripped me into performing the traditional marriage rites.

We have been married for 2 years now and we have a one year old daughter but I still don’t think she’s the right person for me and as such I’m not enjoying the marriage at all.

I want to walk away and end the marriage but when I think of our little daughter, it breaks my heart because I don’t want to see her get hurt.

Please guide me OUR so I don’t make any mistakes because I love our daughter so much.

REPLY:

Hello Stanley,

There honestly really isn’t much to say here other than you should never marry anyone out of pity because you will end up in a bondage for the rest of your life.

Your case is a bit lenient because you say you only performed the traditional marital rites so according to the law and the church, you are still living as man and woman as opposed to husband and wife. So you probably don’t even need to get a divorce or anything like that.

My advice to you is that for your own sake and for the sake of your daughter whom you are trying so hard not to hurt, you need to find a way to walk away.

If you don’t, your frustration is only going to get worse and let’s hope your daughter doesn’t grow up resenting you for the way you would treat her mother out of frustration for being forced into something you never wanted to do in the first place.

Moreover, it is better for your daughter to grow up in a separated home than in a home where there is no love and peace.

I really hope I’ve been of help. Thanks for sharing!

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-OUR

Categories: FEATURE FRIDAY

2 replies »

  1. Well,first and foremost you made a mistake since you already knew you guys weren’t compartable you shld have ended the relationship…either ways you see it you guys are married,no one is perfect and you certainly cant change anyone but God can,I suggest you take it up in prayers,talk to her and tell her the reason why you are thinking staying is because of your daughter,you knw her now more than anyone you guys can actually reach a compromise,God gave us the right to choose our spouse we just need His guidance,am sure there is a strength she has that made you hold on to her that long even while courting,that you couldn’t let go,hold on to it while you pray,and secondly no one brings happiness to you and no one complete you,you have to be at peace with yourself,happy with yourself before you can share it,I may not knw how you feel,you alone knw how it hurt,but I hope we could be of help,I strongly hope somthing good will become of the marriage,it sure takes a lot tho,all the best😉

    Like

    • As much as I agree with you Dami that prayer is the key, the fact is for him to get to this point that he is asking for advice then he really must have tried everything to make it work but to no avail.

      Is there really any point of staying with someone that you know is wrong for you? What if his feelings get worse and the atmosphere in the house becomes unbearable?

      Do you really think it is the right atmosphere to raise a child in?

      I honestly don’t see any reason for him to frustrate and punish the woman. For him to stay married for 2 years then he clearly has done all he can to make it work but nothing has changed.

      I’m simply worried his daughter will grow up in a home without love. That is not something either of them would want.

      After all, he is not really married to her. Traditional marriage is inadmissible in the court of law. So let him free himself while he still can.

      Like

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