Hello guys, it’s Feature Friday! Every Friday I would be sharing a real life experience and situation of a reader who needs my opinion. If you have a situation that you need my opinion on, email me on firstname.lastname@example.org.
Read the situation and my opinion below. The names have been changed to protect the identity of the person being featured. Enjoy!
My name is Adriana and I recently got married to a man I would probably not even speak to on a normal day. The thing is I am Ibo, twenty eight years old and the first girl (Ada) so you must know how much pressure is on me to get married.
To top it all off, all my cousins the same age as me got married in the same year and my parents kept pestering me and repeating the very famous line “we want to carry our grandchild”.
Fast forward a year later, I eventually married a VERY CHUBBY, DARK SKINNED MAN who is twice my age and had been stalking me for marriage for so many years. My parents were of the opinion that since my Mr. Right isn’t forthcoming, I should go ahead and marry any Mr. and make him right for me.
I heed their advice and married him and now we have a baby together but I cannot help but think that I have made the gravest mistake of my life.
Not only are we not compatible, rather than show me affection and emotion and basically try to win me over, he simply lavishes money on me and expects to buy my love with his money.
He sent me to go give birth abroad without any help rather than take the opportunity to get to know each other and bond over the pregnancy. Even when I came back, he moved me to a very big house in a city I knew no one and once again, without any help and expected me to take care of a brand new baby all by myself.
I eventually moved to my parents house and have been staying there so my mum can help assist with the baby. This is when I had the time to think about the very huge mistake I made by marrying him and I honestly dread going back to live with him let alone have him touch my body ever again.
Please help me OUR! What do I do? Could I possibly change the way I feel about this man? Or are these hate feelings going to get worse? Please I need your help!
First of all, thank you Adriana for writing in but all I can say is stop complaining and COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS!
I refuse to give you the lecture of you shouldn’t have married him if you didn’t love him bla bla bla which is true but there’s no need crying over spilled milk. The deed is already done and until you tell me this man is hurting you physically or emotionally and probably a danger and threat to your well-being and/or that of your child, all I would say is COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS!
To be honest, this supposed problem you have is what a lot of people are praying for in their homes. He sent you to give birth abroad and bought a big house for you to live in? Yet you can find something to complain about?
I know money isn’t everything but it seems from over here that the man is actually trying everything he can to please you. I wouldn’t blame him for lavishing on you because he doesn’t know YOU yet and women in general are known to like material things so he thinks he is giving you what you want.
Rather than harbor all of these thoughts in your head, just speak to him. Tell him what you want. Tell him you don’t want all the money and expensive trips but you just want to spend time with him so you both can get to know each other.
Most importantly, tell him you need help with the baby. If possible, let your mum come stay with you for a few days till you find help rather than you go stay with them.
But unless you want to become a single mum struggling to cater for herself and her baby, you need to communicate with that man and make your marriage work.
Shutting him out or living separately will not solve the situation. So the earlier you start working on your marriage the earlier you would be happy and your child would get to grow up in a peaceful, loving home.
I hope I have been on help. Thanks for sharing!
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Categories: FEATURE FRIDAY