The definition of a good girl in Nigeria is one that doesn’t drink, smoke, party, dress skimpy, have multiple sexual partners, keep wayward friends or involve herself in anything that could possibly taint her image. She is expected to always be in her best behavior, demand as little as possible or nothing from her partner, be very religious and possibly be a virgin.

These are some of the criteria that supposedly make up a “good girl” in our society today.

The bad girls on the other hand are those girls that wear lots of makeup, fix very long nails, demand material things from their partner, have lots of male friends who are assumed to be their sexual partners, party regularly, love their alcohol and probably accompany it with a cigarette here and there.

These are the girls that are said to be a “bad influence” on the supposed “good girls”.
Now I ask you, would you rather date a good girl that has never been bad or a bad girl who has given up her old ways and turned good?

In my opinion, I would most definitely go with the latter and here’s why.
The fact that you tick all the “good girl boxes” doesn’t necessarily mean you are a good person and to me, being a good person deep down in your soul is more important than being a “good girl” in the eyes of the world.

When I talk about being a good person, I am referring to the way you are with strangers or the way you treat others when no one you know is watching or as little as the way you treat the help, those that wait on you and/or your subordinates.

Moreover, as much there are “criteria”, the whole good girl bad girl thing should be more of a subjective than objective opinion. Let me give you an example of both cases.

So there’s a girl who has pretty much being wild her entire life. She smokes, drinks, parties every other weekend, loves to hang out in the company of guys and seems to be very materialistic. But unbeknownst to people, she has had only THREE sexual partners in the last two years. She is the one everyone calls a BAD GIRL.

Then there’s another girl who never goes out and believes she has to be in a committed relationship with a guy before anything sexual can happen. She never asks for anything from her partner and is contented with whatever she has. In the quest of finding her Mr. Right, she has kissed or rather slept with about FIVE frogs in three years. She is the ideal woman; the GOOD GIRL.

Bear in mind that this second lady was not having one-night stands or sleeping around, she was actually in a committed relationship with all of these five men while they were sleeping together but unfortunately, the relationship didn’t work out so they went their separate ways.

Now, the first girl who is supposedly the “wild one” has been with THREE guys in two years which is an average of 1.5 guys every year while the second aka “good girl” has been with FIVE guys in three years which is an average of 1.66 guys every year.

25416b28c6638c84be242d8782316ac7Basically, the good girl who is supposed to be the “ideal woman” has slept with more guys on a yearly basis than the bad girl yet she is labeled a “good girl” simply because she doesn’t dress skimpy, go out at night, have flings or demand for material things?

Going by her average of men per year, it can be predicted that in TEN years, she would have slept with approximately SEVENTEEN guys thereby surpassing the fifteen guys of the “bad girl” in the same period of time.

Once again, I say that this issue of good girl, bad girl should be subjective because in my opinion, if you are supposed to be the “ideal woman” yet you have had FIVE failed relationships in as little as THREE years then you are probably not ideal after all and need to work on finding yourself before you think of being in a relationship with someone else.

There is a saying that the SMART girls get the guys and not the GOOD girls. So if you generally assume that because you wear long skirts, show no cleavage or make no demands then you will be categorized as good, you’ve got a different thing coming, and it might be disappointing.

Forget about what society has laid out about what makes people good and bad and focus on being good at heart and getting to know someone for who they are and not what the portray. That is how you can determine who really is a “good person” per se.

Do you think the good girl; bad girl criteria should be subjective or objective?

Feel free to share your comments, opinion and suggestions.

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Categories: POSTS, Relationship

2 replies »

  1. I wish we would do away with the entire “good girl/bad girl” rubbish entirely. It’s the person’s character and behavior that matters, not how many people they’ve been with. Suggesting otherwise is linking a person’s worth to their sexuality, which is harmful in the long run.

    As you say: Is this person kind? Well-mannered? How do they treat the people around them? These are the things that make someone good, not the number of relationships or dalliances they’ve had.


    • Honestly this issue of good girl bad girl has eaten so deep into the Nigerian mentality which is why people pretend to be who they are not so they could comply with the status quo of society when it comes to what women should be in order to get married. How pathetic! Things really need to change!


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