Hello guys, it’s Feature Friday! Every Friday I would be sharing a real life experience and situation of a reader who needs my opinion. If you have a situation that you need my opinion on, email me on featurefriday@alocovivavoce.com.

Read the situation and my opinion below. The names have been changed to protect the identity of the person being featured. Enjoy!

Hello OUR,

My name is Roland and I am thirty two (32) years old. I have been dating a girl for quite some time now and everything has been going very well until she became in need of major financial assistance quite recently.

Yes, I know she was going through a lot of distress financially but the funny thing is so was I. However, I expected her to ask for my help but she never did so I kept quiet about it. Until I found out that she was seeking help from another guy.

As a matter of fact, she walked out on me one time when I was trying to talk to her. She walked out on me to go over to the other guy who has been bearing her financial burden.

After that incident, I went two days without talking to her and when I eventually broke the silence, I asked her why she did that and her response was that I should have known that she needed financial assistance and not wait for her to ask me.

To make matters worse, she went ahead to involve her mother in this one and her mother was saying things like “what kind of a guy am I that I cannot even help out” without bothering to know if I am able to help out or not.

As much as I care a whole lot about my girlfriend, the financial pressure is becoming too much and I do not know what to do. I am a young guy trying to make ends meet and I have supported my girlfriend the best way I could in the past.

But right now, the pressure from my girlfriend and her mother over financial assistance is getting quite much and this is where I need your help. Please what do I do?


Hello Roland,

First of all, you need to reconsider your entire relationship with this said girlfriend of yours. No offense if I’m being blunt but does she even love you at all? Or is she in the relationship because of the benefits she gets from you?

You said it yourself that you have assisted her financially several times in the past but you are unable to do so right now (which she should understand). And from the look of things, since you are not fulfilling her wants, she has moved on to someone that would do just that yet you still ask me “what do I do?”

I don’t know where your relationship with her is headed but since you love her this much despite all you just said, I am guessing you would want to marry her.

Let me just say this to you. Whatever behavior she is exhibiting right now is not going to get better after you both say “I do”. Rather, it might get worse.

My advice to you is RUN WHILE YOU STILL CAN.

The issue about your her mother talking down to you is an even bigger reason for you to see that this is a NO-GO area.

Walking out on you to meet a potential benefactor? Then making it seem like it is your fault she is with another guy? And also going as far as allowing her mother talk down to you; calling you names all because you didn’t give her money she never even asked for?

Yet you are considering hanging around?

You can actually decide to go ahead with her under the notion “love conquers all” or “she will change” but don’t be surprised if she does worse in the near future. “To be forewarned is to be forearmed”. My brother, “SHINE YOUR EYE!”

I hope I have been of help. Thanks for sharing!

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3 replies »

  1. I think my opinion and advice will rest on balance. In the affairs of the heart, judgement is never passed based on one side of the story. My question to you Roland is what’s your girlfriends side to this story? What is bringing the financial pressures on her? Is it a health problem? It’s easy to cast aspersions on someone else when the shoes are not on our feet. My question again is, put the position in reverse…assume that you are in her situation…


    • Hi Jacqueline. Thanks for your contribution!

      I actually agree with you that there are two sides to the story but in this case we can only make do with the side that we know. I would hate to think that someone who is writing in for advice would make stuff up just to ridicule his partner.

      Back to the story at hand, it is not farfetched that she was upset he was waiting for her to ask for help before he even as little as showed concern but I definitely do not think it is grounds to disrespect him or allow your mum disrespect him for that matter.

      Here in Nigeria, we see all sort. So this story is both believable and unbelievable at the same time and I do hope he is able to work it out.

      Liked by 1 person

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